adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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