Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
