Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My ass is underappreciated
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
