your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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