Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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