matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
