OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
