I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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