it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
