Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
