i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
