I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
