wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
