Im at strip club and am horny
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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