we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
