I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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