I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
