Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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