I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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