i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
