i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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