Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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