You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
