Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
