i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
