You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
