Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
