if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
