Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
