I have demons in me.
i think i have two assholes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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