He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
