I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
