i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
