Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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