dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
