I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
