Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
FUCK WHALES
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
