Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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