So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
