I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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