His hands were made for my vagina.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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