Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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