My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
