My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
