If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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