Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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