it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
