How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
