You really coming over, don't trick.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
