Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
